Living a Happier Life

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  Table of Contents for this page:

• Preface.

• Living a Happier Life. - Steps to your own Happiness, Joy, Contentment and Peace from several points of view, often with exercises, examples and stories.

• Dr. Martin Seligman - paper on "Positive Psychology," and his Authentic Happiness website: getting on to the happy, happier and happiest states.

• Wallace Wattles landmark work "The Science of Getting Rich" that introduced positive thinking to the western world.

• Marci Shimoff - "Happy for No Reason: 7 steps to Being Happy from the Inside Out," (with great ideas, exercises and stories to help us remember).
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• Dr. Wayne Dyer, "Seven Secrets of a Joyful Life" and "Eight ways to tap into the power of intention and feel great every day."
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• Dr. Michael Fordyce - "Human Happiness: Its Nature and Its Attainment," his on-line book. Includes 14 Fundamentals for Attaining Happiness from GetHappy.net.
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• Dr. Jill Taylor has brought us "My Stroke of Insight: A Harvard Brain Scientist's Personal Journey." It is her story of recovery from a stroke.

• Joel Osteen - many books on optimism, positive thinking and happiness from the happiest couple to be on Larry King Live.

• Dr. Richard Layard - a summary of "Towards a Happier Society. The secrets of Happiness" as a public policy initiative.

• Dr. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi - notes on "Flow" (that state of enjoyment where you completely forget the passage of time). How do we create the conditions for "flow" to be a common occurrence rather than a random peak experience?

• Bill Harris, Director of Centerpointe posts a good article on "How To Really Let Whatever Happens Be Okay—and Why You Would Want To."

• Dr. Jonathan Haidt strikes the balance (and points out the necessity) of seeking happiness both from within, and in cooperative relationships with others.

• Dr. Stephen R. Covey wrote "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" back in the day. It is still relevant today, and relates to happiness in ways you might not predict.

• Steve Pavlina has written Personal Development for Smart People: the Conscious Pursuit of Personal Growth. This book starts with 7 principles, and provides practical application that derives from these principles.

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• Summary of potentially helpful ideas and practices, with notes.

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• Related Resources.

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Preface

This page contains some links and informal suggestions for the general reader from a strictly lay point of view that may be helpful starting points for persons seeking to find greater lasting happiness in their lives. This page is intended to be independent of specific religious views, though it will have an underlying tendency toward Christian thinking in the western world and toward so-called "new age" thinking. This page recognizes that religious views can be pivotal in both understanding and implementing any improvements in a person's sense of contentment and well-being. Those specific remedies are best found among the person's religious beliefs and their reliable sources of religious thinking and teaching. Dr. Fordyce points out, for example that "happy individuals have well-developed philosophical or religious beliefs that provide them the satisfying sense of meaning, importance, and significance in their life. They seem to have a marvelously developed sense of personal direction that comes from those beliefs and values" that are completely independent of the specific religious or philosophical beliefs themselves. . The items presented here are oriented toward what has been found by researchers and others among broad populations holding widely differing philosophical and religious views. There is a surprising uniformity of beliefs and values associated with well-being and contentment across the ages and across cultures and philosophies. And there is wide agreement that happiness is one of the most important goals we seek. Although as a field of study, it is only a few decades old, a few sources of research findings and suggestions are mentioned here in the hope that they will be helpful for those on a quest to improve their own everyday levels of happiness, contentment, inner peace and joy. .
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“The dogmas of the quiet past are inadequate to the stormy present.”⁴
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Living a Happier Life

Happiness, joy and contentment are very hard to define for others. But virtually all of us know them when we find them in our own lives. Most of us do not know, however, how to improve any of them, except for specific instances. This page contains some of what I have found on these subjects, in the hope that some of them may also be helpful to others. . All these resources are freely available so far as I know; and the books are available at most libraries and bookstores. . As far I can tell, there is no one silver bullet that, if you do it, or acquire it, will lead you to lasting happiness. On the contrary, it seems to be a series of individually-tailored activities, thought patterns, attitudes, habits and built-in attributes which everybody can engage in or develop to some degree, the sum of which improves your happiness (even if no individual obtains greater happiness in all [or even many] of the areas identified in the research). Further, there doesn't seem to be a single nirvana at which one ultimately arrives; but rather, there seems to be a continuous series of processes unique to each person in which they are continuously expanding, improving and modifying the levels of happiness and joy which they recognize and experience. Ultimately, all these activities and thoughts become a series of more-or-less permanent habits based on sound principles, the end product of which is increased happiness. Over time, as you adjust and improve them, your level of overall happiness increases. And the very large numbers of possibilities can give substantial hope to anyone wishing to increase their level of happiness. Since there are so many possibilities, there is merit in trying them at different times, and from different stages of development. Often, something that failed (or made little sense) at an earlier time will bear fruit in present circumstances. And some of them will produce some degree of success, for sure. Every individual is unique; cultivate and preserve the ones that work for you. My hope is that some of the following will spark some of these processes for you. .
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"The winds of happiness are always blowing; but it is you who must raise a sail."¹
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“What I am looking for is not out there, it is in me.”²
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• The Authentic Happiness website of Dr. Martin Seligman at the University of Pennsylvania Positive Psychology Center together "promote research, training, education, and the dissemination of Positive Psychology." There, you can participate in his tests and questionnaires, etc., and aid in the research, though you need to register (its free; and they don't clutter your in-box).

• Dr. Seligman's paper "Positive Psychology Progress: Empirical Validation of Interventions" (pdf) describes his work and the work of others in measuring happiness and the effects of "interventions" (exercises he suggests to improve happiness) and the results thereof, including how lasting the effects were, and the role of character strengths in developing happiness. I was surprised that "... our study is the most ambitious random-assignment, placebo-controlled test of happiness interventions we know, ..." thinking casually that many people must have studied happiness and ways to improve it over the years. Apparently not. At any rate, Seligman et al identify 5 exercises that are effective in improving happiness.
• 1. Make a gratitude visit. Go see (or write) somebody who had been kind or helped you, and thank them.
• 2. List three good things that happened each day, and what caused them to come about.
• 3. Write about you at your best. Review the story daily for a week.
• 4. Identify your signature strengths (the inventory exercise in the article may be helpful).
• 5. Use your signature strengths in new ways.

• In Claudia Wallis's 2005 Time Magazine article "The New Science of HAPPINESS" she asks 'What makes the human heart sing?'; and she answers 'Researchers are taking a close look. What they’ve found may surprise you.' This article is her report on a workshop where Dr. Seligman stated his new vision for the Psychology profession as the American Psychological Association's new president. Said he, “I realized that my profession was half-baked [focusing mainly on remedies to mental ailments]. It wasn’t enough for us to nullify disabling conditions and get to zero. We needed to ask, What are the enabling conditions that make human beings flourish? How do we get from zero to plus five?” Some of her headings include:
• WHAT MAKES US HAPPY?
• MEASURING OUR MOODS.
• Just How Happy Are We? And What Makes Us That Way?
• CAN WE GET HAPPIER?
• Eight Steps Toward a More Satisfying Life:
 

1 - Count your blessings.   2 - Practice acts of kindness.   3 - Savor life’s joys.   4 - Thank a mentor.

5 - Learn to forgive.   6 - Invest time and energy in friends and family.   7 - Take care of your body.   8 - Develop strategies for coping with stress and hardships.

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In the article, Wallis quotes one of Seligman's bottom lines "[raising happiness levels] involves working on the three components of happiness—getting more pleasure out of life (which can be done by savoring sensory experiences, ...), becoming more engaged in what you do, and finding ways of making your life feel more meaningful." . She also reports on another researcher who described the benefits of keeping a gratitude journal—a diary in which subjects write down things for which they are thankful. "She has found that taking the time to conscientiously count their blessings once a week significantly increased subjects’ overall satisfaction with life over a period of six weeks, whereas a control group that did not keep journals had no such gain." . And she cites Seligman’s biggest recommendation for lasting happiness: "figure out your strengths and find new ways to deploy them." . See also Haidt, below, for more on the balance between and necessity of both getting what you want, and seeing the good things in what is already happening around you.

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• Way back in 1910 Wallace D. Wattles (Wikipedia entry) published "The Science of Getting Rich" {77 pages, .PDF, Christian themes, large-font format}. Wattles' writing introduced the western world to the practical principles of positive thinking. My own view of the "... Getting Rich" title is that it was aimed at least partially at attracting attention from those who were seeking financial riches. And the work does focus on that aspect in important ways. But in the context of this web page, the ideas, concepts and practices articulated in the book apply equally in obtaining the riches of fulfillment, personal satisfaction, joy, happiness, inner peace, contentment and self-actualization. Wattles deals with the weaknesses of the glib notion that merely thinking positively produces the desired results. He emphasizes that what I would call disciplined thinking (continuously focusing your thinking on better approaches, etc.), and the application of that thinking (with persistent, well-directed work) is what produces the desirable results. He also points out the vital necessity of gratitude in obtaining riches, and in forsaking competitive practices in favor of cooperative practices. Wattles focuses on practices and attitudes which will produce results rather than on the background or theory. He calls these the "Certain Way." And he writes in a very straightforward way, using words for the general reader. In about an hour you can read the whole thing. His summary at the end of the book is very helpful for obtaining an overview which you can read in a couple of minutes. It uses (predictably) terms defined earlier in the work, however.
• Here are some quotes from Wattles' book {links are to the WikiSource edition--see below}. Remember, this book and its examples were written about a hundred years ago.
• "In writing this book I have sacrificed all other considerations to plainness and simplicity of style, so that all might understand. The plan of action laid down herein was deduced from the conclusions of philosophy; it has been thoroughly tested, and bears the supreme test of practical experiment; it works. If you wish to know how the conclusions were arrived at, read the writings of the authors mentioned above; and if you wish to reap the fruits of their philosophies in actual practice, read this book and do exactly as it tells you to do." - Preface.
• "The object of all life is development; and everything that lives has an inalienable right to all the development it is capable of attaining." - Chapter 1.
• "Studying the people who have got rich, we find that they are an average lot in all respects, having no greater talents and abilities than other men [and women]. It is evident that they do not get rich because they possess talents and abilities that other men [and women] have not, but because they happen to do things in a Certain Way." - Chapter 2.
• "You must get rid of the thought of competition. You are to create, not to compete for what is already created. You do not have to take anything away from anyone." Also "You do not have to covet the property of others, or to look at it with wishful eyes; no man has anything of which you cannot have the like, and that without taking what he has away from him." - Chapter 5.
• "Many people who order their lives rightly in all other ways are kept in poverty by their lack of gratitude. Having received one gift from God, they cut the wires which connect them with Him by failing to make [thankful] acknowledgment." And "Without gratitude you cannot long keep from dissatisfied thought regarding things as they are." - Chapter 7.
• "Do not rage against corrupt politicians; if it were not for politicians we should fall into anarchy, and your opportunity would be greatly lessened. God has worked a long time and very patiently to bring us up to where we are in industry and government, and He is going right on with His work. There is not the least doubt that He will do away with plutocrats, trust magnates, captains of industry, and [corrupt] politicians as soon as they can be spared; but in the meantime, behold they are all very good. Remember that they are all helping to arrange the lines of transmission along which your riches will come to you, and be grateful to them all. This will bring you into harmonious relations with the good in everything, and the good in everything will move toward you." - Chapter 7.
• "The answer to prayer is not according to your faith while you are talking, but according to your faith while you are working." - Chapter 8.
• "The very best thing you can do for the whole world is to make the most of yourself." - Chapter 10.
• "You cannot act where you are not; you cannot act where you have been, and you cannot act where you are going to be; you can act only where you are." - Chapter 11.
• "A student of this science had set his mind on making a certain business combination which seemed to him at the time to be very desirable, and he worked for some weeks to bring it about. When the crucial time came, the thing failed in a perfectly inexplicable way; it was as if some unseen influence had been working secretly against him. He was not disappointed; on the contrary, he thanked God that his desire had been overruled, and went steadily on with a grateful mind. In a few weeks an opportunity so much better came his way that he would not have made the first deal on any account; and he saw that a Mind which knew more than he knew had prevented him from losing the greater good by entangling himself with the lesser." - Chapter 16.
• The complete contents of The Science of Getting Rich, now in the public domain in the U.S., is available from WikiSource as a series of web pages. Here are its Table of Contents and Preface. This may be the single most helpful, well-written and complete on-line source of information in your free pursuit of joy, contentment and happiness.
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• Marci Shimoff, "the woman's face of the biggest self-help book phenomenon in history, Chicken Soup for the Soul. ... [She is a] celebrated transformational leader, and one of the nation's leading experts on happiness, success, and the law of attraction, ...". Marci has written, with Carol Kline, a book titled Happy for No Reason: 7 Steps to Being Happy from the Inside Out.

• This is a book that is definitely worth reading, if only for the hope it inspires. It is not aimed at women, particularly, though they are certainly not left out. Marci speaks of happiness that is already inside you ready to come to the surface of your consciousness if you can stop keeping it back. She focuses on many of the same principles of a happier life as the positive psychology authors; but she mentions lots of other ideas also. In addition, she offers many exercises that you can start using right now, to help you start to to feel happier.

• Her friends at Learning Strategies have posted her complimentary Happy For No Reason Workbook, as a .PDF file. [This workbook is also available as a standard HTML web page if you do not have the Adobe Acrobat reader installed on your computer {download and install the Adobe Reader free of charge}. To see the HTML version, go to Google and search for "Happy For No Reason Workbook" {including the quotation marks}. It returns (late April 2008) a single entry "[PDF] Welcome to Your Complimentary Happy For No Reason Workbook!" with File Format: PDF/Adobe Acrobat, and with a link: View as HTML. Click on their "View as HTML" link to see the content of the workbook as a very readable standard HTML web page]. This workbook can get you started immediately with a questionnaire, a bunch of happiness quotes from Happy For No Reason, and (best of all) 21 Happiness Habit Exercises, that you can start working on while you locate a copy of the book.

• Shimoff identifies steps, happiness habits and corresponding exercises. And she includes inspirational stories (to help us remember and apply them). The following is a list of headings for  the 21 Happiness Exercises mentioned in the workbook cited immediately above.
 

Focus on Solutions. Look for the Lesson and the Gift. Make Peace with Yourself. Question Your Thoughts. Go Beyond the Mind and Let Go. Incline Your Mind Toward Joy. Focus on Gratitude [what you appreciate, appreciates].

Practice Forgiveness. Spread Loving Kindness. Nourish Your Body. Energize Your Body. Tune In to Your Body’s Wisdom. Invite Connection with Your Higher Power. Listen to Your Inner Voice.

Trust Life’s Unfolding. Find Your Passion. Follow the Inspiration of the Moment. Contribute to Something Greater than Yourself. Tend to Your Relationships. Surround Yourself with Support. See the World as Your Family.

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• Marci's book also contains a dozen pages of additional resources, online and print plus CDs, etc., many with commercial content; and she refers readers to a number of online resources for tools and techniques, etc., many of which also have commercial content. The point here is that there are lots of follow-on options, especially those available for a fee. Many other options are freely available, both on this page and otherwise. In particular, see the notes on finding your passions and the Related Resources below.
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• Dr. Wayne Dyer has published lots of books and articles besides his best-seller: "The Power of Intention." One article that caught my attention was from Family Circle magazine, "Seven Secrets of a Joyful Life: Wayne Dyer’s Feel Good Guide." In the article he describes your own "intention" and how you can tap its power to realize more inner joy and harmonious relationships. His 7 faces of intention include [1] creativity (don't die with your music still inside you; listen to your intuitive inner voice and find what passion stirs your soul), [2] kindness (choosing to be kind is also a choice to make the Power of Intention active in your life), [3] love (brotherly love, parental love, tolerance, tenderness, acceptance, romantic love where appropriate), [4] beauty (there are a million acts of kindness and goodness [all around us]; it just depends where you look; and when I look around at virtually anyone or anything on the planet, I can see ... beauty), [5] expansion (we need to connect with the image of an expanding Source—one which never becomes stagnant or gets tired of growing and improving), [6] abundance (there are no limits to our potential, we can tap into abundance knowing there's more than enough for us and for everyone), and [7] receptivity (no one and no thing is rejected).
• Dyer's "intention" is not so much dogged determination, but consistently allowing that you are a part of of something very benign and helpful, letting it help you, and not being swayed from that path.
• On reducing stress, he says: "Any stress signal is a way of alerting you to say the five magic words: 'I want to feel good.' This is your intention to be tranquil and stress free."
• Similarly: "Remember, your thoughts, not your world, cause you stress. And you can change your thoughts."
• Moreover, "one of the fastest ways to transform fear into love and tap into the Source is through another face of intention—doing an act of kindness" ... even thinking kind thoughts.
• On the difference between will and intent, he says "Will is the idea that I'm going to make this thing happen. Intent is inspiration—allowing it to take place. I don't say that will is bad. But it's the work of the ego—believing that we are controlling everything—rather than surrendering to the Source of energy that is greater than any of us."
• In his childrens' bedroom, he framed this message: "Good morning. This is God. I will be handling all of your problems today. I will not need your help, so have a miraculous day!"
• On letting God (or Good) do everything, he says "It's not about doing nothing. In the recovery movement, they call what I'm talking about letting go and letting God. (If you're uncomfortable with the word God, just add an o and make it Good. The two words are interchangeable.) It just means allowing this divine Source of kindness, beauty and creativity to be the dominant force in your life—whatever you're doing. I truly believe that God writes all the books and builds all the bridges. Sure, I sit down for six or seven hours a day with my pen and pads—but the message moves though me and I just allow."
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• In the article he cites Eight ways to tap into the power of intention and feel great every day:
• (1) Make meditation a regular practice in your life. You need to take time to get quiet, to go within, and from this silence make conscious contact with the Source of intention. You're already connected to everything that you perceive as missing from your life; go with a realignment.
• (2) Become conscious of the foods you eat. Foods high in alkalinity such as fruits, vegetables, nuts, soy, non-yeast breads and virgin olive oil are high-energy foods and will strengthen you, while highly acidic foods such as flour-based cereals, meats, dairy and sugars lower energy and will weaken you.
• (3) Retreat from low-energy substances. Alcohol, cigarettes, caffeine, sugar and virtually all artificial drugs, legal or otherwise, lower your body's energy level and weaken you.
• (4) Become aware of the energy level of the music you listen to. Some rap music—filled with profanity and messages about killing, for example—is an energy drain; music that has a more soothing impact on the soul has been proven to be beneficial.
• (5) Become aware of the energy levels of your home environment. Make your home a nurturing, cheerful and peaceful environment.
• (6) Reduce your exposure to low-energy commercial television. Children see 12,000 simulated murders on TV before their 14th birthday! Television news puts a heavy emphasis on the bad and the ugly, leaving out the good.
• (7) Enhance your energy field with photographs. Every photograph contains energy. Carry and display photos taken in moments of happiness, love and receptivity.
• (8) Become conscious of the energy levels of your acquaintances, friends and extended family. Choose to be in close proximity to those who are empowering, who see the greatness in you, who feel connected to spirit.

• In another Interview he said of his philosophy and the Source from which he sprang:
• "Everyone and everything that shows up in the world of form in this universe originates from [what can be called] God, soul, spirit, or consciousness. It looks a certain way, sounds a certain way, and feels a certain way. I try to stay in harmony with what I believe it sounds and feels like. This Source that creates worlds always is creating and loving, and it excludes no one. It is a Source of unlimited abundance. It is a Source that has no judgment. Anytime we have a thought that excludes others—a thought of unkindness, for example, or a thought of non-love toward ourselves or anyone else—we lose the power of intention. The power of intention is the power to manifest, to create, to live a life of unlimited abundance, and to attract into your life the right people at the right moments."
• On setting goals that are mainly centered on getting to somewhere else (more profits, more contacts, etc.) he says, "Goal setting is fine if you want to be the warrior archetype. ... But when you get to a higher level of consciousness, when you get into a spiritual approach to life, you are not trying to get someplace else, because you never can get it done. ... Instead, what you want to do is get to a place where you are at peace. You are connected to God, you are enjoying every single day you have, and the growth of you and your [career] will take care of themselves."
• On living in the present he says, "When I go to a music concert, I don't [think that] my purpose is to get to the end and enjoy the finale. If that were the purpose, everybody would write finales and nothing more. The purpose of the concert is to enjoy each note as you go along." And "Enjoy the moment, because that is all you have. You never are going to arrive someplace else [in this moment]. You are in a constant state of living in this moment, and that is the only arrival there is. In fact, you will arrive [only] when you stop trying to get someplace else." Enjoy the moment: right here, right now. If your mood is not one of enjoyment, stop thinking of the non-enjoyment and start to think joyful thoughts; your mood will change to greater joy. Practice it; learn how to do it more often, in more difficult circumstances, then always.
• On appreciation and thankfulness he says, "I want to be on a rampage of appreciation every single day."
• On watching out for your own resistance he says, "refuse to have any resistance to staying connected to [your] Source. ... If you do not have well-being in your life, physically or emotionally, then you have to look at what kind of energies, thoughts, and spirituality you have chosen that take you away from your Source. One of the ways to get back to it is to think [about what you want to have and be as if it were already in hand--not about the things that are missing]." And "One of the important principles I live by is the idea that you have to contemplate yourself as surrounded by the conditions you intend to produce. The difference between highly functioning people—the people Maslow called self-actualizers—and people who live with ordinary levels of consciousness is that the self-actualizers never put their intention on what they don't want. They know that what you think about is what expands."
• On things that may seem impossible he says, "Dormant forces come alive when you put your attention on what you intend to manifest and when you stay connected to your Source of well-being, your Source of kindness, and your Source that excludes no one." And "We become what we think about." So, to change your moods and to change your life, change your thoughts. It will all follow as the day follows the night. And they he caps it off with "You can't just have a thought. You have to follow the thought through."
• Of Einstein's great contributions to humanity, he says "look at Einstein's simple statement that the most important decision you ever will make is the decision whether you live in a friendly universe or a hostile universe." By deciding you live in a friendly universe you are able to tap into all its powers; and they come according to what you focus on. Dyer also says "When I look at the [broadcast or print] news and all the things that are hostile out there, I remind myself that for every act of evil in the world, there are a million acts of kindness."
• On maturing into a person of spirit he says, "This is the time when you finally realize what Jesus meant when He said, 'You are in this world, but you are not of this world.' You are not here as a human being having a spiritual experience, but the reverse is true: All of us here are spiritual beings having a human experience."

• In yet another interview concerning organized institutional religion he said, "My belief is that the truth is a truth until you organize it, and then it becomes a lie. I don't think that Jesus was teaching [organized] Christianity [as we know it today], Jesus was teaching kindness, love, concern, and peace. What I tell people is don't be [an organized] Christian, be Christ like. Don't be [an organized] Buddhist, be Buddha like."
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• Here are the Dyer Dozen - guidelines for happiness, adapted by a blogger and others.
•   1. Want more for others than you want for yourself.
•   2. Think from the end--focus on the places/circumstances you want.
•   3. Be an appreciator--see what’s valuable vs. worthless.
•   4. Stay in rapport with Source energy.
•   5. Every thought other than those connected with Source is resistance.
•   6. Contemplate yourself surrounded by what you want, and already thinking exclusively happy, contented and peaceful thoughts.
•   7. Understand the route of "allowing" rather than forcing [or willing] things to happen, and allow for alternative solutions.
•   8. Practice radical humility.
•   9. Be in constant state of gratitude. Elsewhere he says "be on a rampage of appreciation."
• 10. You can never resolve a problem by condemning it.
• 11. Play the match game--match or align your thinking and actions to the kind of person you want to be.
• 12. Meditate.
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A very helpful place to see the big picture concerning happiness is from Dr. Michael W. Fordyce, a retired writer, researcher and theorist on human happiness. It is entitled "Human Happiness: Its Nature and Its Attainment." This item contains helpful introductory material along with "fourteen fundamentals of happiness" that explain what to do to increase your happiness.

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• See the Table of Contents page for "Human Happiness: Its Nature and Its Attainment" with links to all the chapters. It contains lots of easy reading, and it is very informative.
• Take Dr. Fordyce's "Test of Your Happiness Assets." It takes only 15 minutes or so. Your scores and the scoring explanations will give you a ton of ideas, quash some myths, and help you focus attention on improving your enjoyment of life.
• His Two Faces of Happiness section near the bottom of chapter 4 on "The Story of Happiness Research"  distinguishes between "a good emotional feeling (I'm in a happy mood)," and "a more general feeling people have about how their life is going (I'm a happy person)." In our quest to increase our happiness, these can be important facets requiring different approaches.
• "When a happy mood strikes, there is a remarkable change in the positive nature of the thoughts which come into our mind." People feel better about themselves, too. Thus, getting yourself into a happy mood can improve your overall happiness (by an amount greater than its own value) as a by-product; and even our behavior improves, and our worries are reduced. [This comes from the Thinking Changes section and later sections of Chapter 5  The Happy Mood].
• An important subset of this happy mood effect is that we are happier when we are working on one of our strengths, or using one of our strengths to achieve some other purpose. See the Notes on "Find your passion ..." below.
• "Some happiness-sources have more impact than others. ...
• One's marriage and family life, for example, appears to be the most potent source of all; and Optimism is a very close second -- rewards in these areas are more important to your happiness than rewards in other areas.
• Next, come the successes you find in your job and your other social life.
• Then come things like your income, social status, and educational attainment.
• And finally, come the more peripheral things, like fun, good health, etc."
[These above items come from the Eight Laws Of Human Happiness section toward the bottom of Chapter 6  The Happy Person, particularly the 5th law: The Law Of Cumulative Effects.]
• Be sure to persevere (or go directly) to the second volume - Learning to be a Happier Person (Introduction). These chapters contain most of the value in my view, presenting many ideas for making yourself a happier person on many fronts.
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Here are the individual links to the 14 Fundamentals for Attaining Happiness by Dr. Fordyce.
[The last three fundamentals are in draft form only, and can be by-passed in favor of similar topics from other sources.]
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1 - Be More Active and Keep Busy. 2 - Spend More Time Socializing  ... (likely your #1 happiness asset). 3 - Be Productive at Meaningful Work. 4 - Get Better Organized, Plan Things Out. 5 - Stop Worrying. 6 - Lower Your Expectations & Aspirations  ... (shows the futility of achievement-based happiness). 7 - Develop Positive, Optimistic Thinking. 8 - Get Present-Oriented. .

9 - Work On a Healthy Personality  ... (liking, accepting, knowing, helping and being yourself). 10 - Develop an Outgoing Social Personality  ... (smile and say "hi" -- it is a great start). 11 - Be Yourself. 12 - Eliminate Negative Feelings & Problems [draft; not very helpful] ... (see Notes on Letting go,  below instead). 13 - Close Relationships Are  #1 [draft]. 14 - VALHAP - The Secret Fundamental  ... (the effect of studying and valuing happiness [draft]). .

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• Fordyce puts an important facet of the pursuit of happiness very simply in his Fifth Fundamental, "Stop Worrying":
• "The strategy here is quite basic: we want to be happy; our happiness is largely dependent upon our day-to-day mood; our day-to-day mood is largely dependent upon what thoughts pass through our mind; our thoughts can be brought under our control; and thus, by controlling our thoughts we can control our happiness."
• "... the more time one spends thinking positive thoughts, instead of negative thoughts, the happier one will be. And since thoughts are generally easier to change than feelings, the more we are able to harness the direction of our thoughts, the more control we will find over our happiness."
• Use the 'thought check,' 'thought switching' and your 'main thought' to focus your thinking (away from worrying) toward better moods and toward better overall happiness more of the time.
• For a concrete and testable example that "what you think is what you get," see the Cesar Millan "Dog Whisperer" example in Related Resources below.

See also The Happiness Show, originally a TV show about happiness (who they are), with lots of videos, etc., and their page on Dr. Michael W. Fordyce.

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• Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor has written brilliantly "My Stroke of Insight: A Brain Scientist's Personal Journey" of recovery from a stroke. This may be the first time we have heard about a stroke and subsequent recovery as told firsthand by somebody trained in brain function, purpose and anatomy. It is an upbeat account, written for the general reader, and perhaps especially for those who have had a stroke and their caregivers. From the point of view of this page about Living a Happier Life, her discoveries about the control she had over her moods are very significant. Initially, for example, she found when the stroke disabled many of her disciplined left brain functions, she found herself feeling the greatest happiness and euphoria she had ever experienced. She used that knowledge to manage, regulate and balance the functions, attitudes and assertiveness of her left brain as those functions were recovered. She deliberately made for herself a more balanced, happier and more compassionate personality thereby. (And she explains how those of us who have not had a stroke but who have similar objectives, can do the same for ourselves). Fascinating, and very informative.
. Most of the other authors on this page speak of happiness in terms of their studies and their experience. But Taylor speaks of it as a very credible brain scientist from a very different perspective which you might find is surprisingly complementary to the work of those who approach it from a Psychological point of view. I found her articulation of the need for balance between our linear and logical left brain (which is also very good at filling in the blanks with brain chatter that is not always entirely truthful) and our more liberal right brain which is taking a much broader, more far-reaching and relaxed view (which many of us have learned to suppress more than is needful). Under 200 pages, I also found this book to be so captivating that I read it in a single evening (unheard-of!). She was very fortunate in the help she received; and we are equally fortunate to be able to read and understand it for our own benefit (and for those we know). Thank you, Dr..Jill.!!
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• Joel Osteen, and his wife Victoria are pastors at Christian nondenominational Lakewood Church in Houston. Larry King called him "the good news guy" and (to Joel and Victoria, who were together on the same program, 20 June 2005), "You're going to win the award as the happiest people ever to be on this program." Osteen has written several books about self-improvement, encouragement and inspiration that have been very well received. An early book, "Your Best Life Now" has a chapter "Choose to Be Happy." Some more current titles are "Position Yourself for Greatness," "Live Like a Champion," "A Life Worth Living," "Letting Go of the Past" and "Become a Better You: 7 Keys to Improving Your Life Every Day." The latter identifies the seven keys: [1] Keep pressing forward, [2] Be positive toward yourself, [3] Develop better relationships, [4] Form better habits, [5] Embrace the place where you are, [6] Develop your inner life, and [7] Stay passionate about life. Each key also includes a list of action points: practical steps each one of us can take to better ourselves, and to feel better about ourselves.
. Osteen's whole message is about adopting an optimistic view of everything, and being happier as a result. No matter what your take on his religious merits, on the scale between optimism and pessimism, he comes out solidly optimistic in every quarter, offering practical steps to self-improvement. Anybody seeking happiness through increased optimism and positive thinking (see note below) might like to see his books, or view his TV services. He does not ask for donations on TV (and says he will not do so); so you can just soak up some of his optimism and his ideas for generating more of your own optimism--all without even feeling any guilt.You can hardly help from feeling better after reading or listening to Joel for even a short time. You can sign up for the daily e-mailed "Today's Word with Joel & Victoria" and "Weekly e-votionals from Joel" they are free, and uncluttered. You can also view their archives to see some past issues of each. .
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• On a broader scale in Britain, Dr. Richard Layard has prepared a series of lectures concerning why we are not a lot happier in developed countries given that incomes have increased substantially since the end of World War II, for example. His summary "Towards a Happier Society: The secrets of Happiness" may be most helpful if you are short of time. It is a five minute read dealing with happiness from a public policy perspective.
• Scroll down about one screen on Dr. Richard Layard's bio to the heading "Selected Publications available on the web:" for a list of links to his papers. They are very readable and informative.

• Also on the broad scale of happiness levels by country, the World Values Survey may be of interest. See "Happiness trends in 24 countries, 1946-2006" where you can download the entire report. See also the University of Michigan Institute for Social Research article "Happiness is rising around the world: U-M study" (June 2008), which discusses the report, and gives a good overview of its findings in half a dozen screens. Predictably, the highest scores tend to come from countries where political and economic freedom are valued and available. Here is the table of Subjective Well-being in 97 Countries (as a 1-page .PDF file), from the report.

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• Dr. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (say Mee'-high Chik-sent'-mee-high'-ee; Wikipedia entry) at the Drucker School of Management has been studying human enjoyment since 1963. His work on what he calls Flow (that state of enjoyment where you completely forget the passage of time, as a youngster playing an engaging video game, or as an artist who cannot pull herself away from her painting, even to eat) is described in a review by Rob Jellinghaus. His review of Csikszentmihalyi's book "Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience" is helpful in working to attain that state in other activities.

• Almost all of us have had the experience of flow at some point in our lives. But how do we create the conditions for flow to be a common occurrence rather than a random peak experience? What must be present to experience the 'helping hands' of flow on a regular basis?
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•  1. Express gratitude for what you have. Some people call it prayer, meditation or grace. Be in a state of thankfulness.
•  2. Live consciously. Deliberately change your thoughts, actions, and language to mirror your highest thoughts about yourself.
• Take the moral high ground. Use your highest thoughts about yourself as your guide in life.
•  3. Be committed to the outcome but not attached to it.
• COMMIT, is defined as, 'to put into charge or trust.' In contrast, the definition of ATTACH is, 'to bind by personal ties.'
• Once you are attached (ego-involved, or identify with the outcome), you are out of the zone.
•  4. Treat life as a game. If you take it too seriously, you'll create effort and struggle and frustration - definitely not flow.
•  5. Learn to trust your feelings, your experience (some call it an inner voice, or intuition).
•  6. When working on a project or solving a problem, bring it to completion as quickly as possible, taking the path of least resistance.
•  7. Do not judge or evaluate your actions or the actions of others. Stay 'out of your head.'
•  8. Appreciate and acknowledge all contributions whether you agree with them or not.
•  9. The physical universe doesn't lie. If something is not working, look inside yourself for the solution.
• Ask yourself, 'What can I learn from this?' 'Why does this situation keep occurring?' 'What is the universe telling me?'
• 10. Trust the flow and surrender to it. [See also Bill Harris's note on resistance below].

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• Bill Harris, at the Centerpointe Research Institute (lots of commercial clutter) posts "How To Really Let Whatever Happens Be Okay—and Why You Would Want To." This free article is helpful in reducing or eliminating your suffering when things do not go as you would like. By resisting what is (and can't be changed), you lose your inner peace. As long as it can't be changed, you could benefit, at least, from maintaining your inner peace while the unpleasant thing unfolds. Those who succeed in allowing it to be ok make huge gains in their happiness and emotional well-being. Harris also speaks about helpful approaches when you can change all or parts of the unpleasant thing.
. He identifies 6 important principles (my italics) concerning this resistance:
• #1: All discomfort is caused by resistance.
• #2: We each have an internal map of reality [others call it the ego], the contents of which we did not consciously choose, and which operates automatically to create our results and experience of life.
• #3: Our main agenda in creating this [internal] map is to be safe.
• #4: The more that safety was an issue in your family [as a child], the more likely your map of reality will be built around the issue of safety, and the more likely you will be to protect it from changing.
• #5: Though they may seem to cause your discomfort, outside events are merely triggers. The root cause of all discomfort is not what we resist, but the resistance itself.
• #6: Because the resistance is the cause of discomfort, ending it is the solution.
. And he offers some suggestions about what you can do about resistance:
• 1) Recognize [that you are resisting and feeling discomfort].
• 2) Acknowledge [your discomfort that arises from resisting].
• 3) Watch with curiosity. [Tolle describes this as being an alert witness to the unpleasant thing and your response. You step aside and observe, consciously. Tolle also suggests (alternately) that you make yourself transparent to the irritation by visualizing it passing right through you with no resistance (therefore, no effect).]
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• [Voilà: the resistance begins to dissipate, just because you recognized and watched it with curiosity. ... And your internal map gets another revision based on the newly understood reality. Don't try to change the outcome (that's just more resistance); rather, observe it as it unfolds. You are letting the revisions to your map be ok. They are always an improvement.]
. "Your goal, then, is ... to have your response to whatever happens be a choice, and to have that response be independent of anything happening around you. Once you learn how to exercise this choice, you can choose happiness and peace regardless of what is going on around you." [See also One [Good] Tip for Getting Things Done - from the Positivity Blog, below].

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• Dr. Jonathan Haidt, an Associate Professor in the Department of Psychology at the University of Virginia has written "The Happiness Hypothesis: Finding Modern Truth in Ancient Wisdom." His book deals with ten ideas, each of which has been discovered by several past civilizations and contains lessons for us today. "It is a book about how to construct a life of virtue, happiness, fulfillment, and meaning." The introduction and three chapters are available free as .PDF files on-line. Dr. Seligman says "For the reader who seeks to understand happiness, my advice is: Begin with Haidt." In the introduction to The Happiness Hypothesis, Haidt observes "If you know ... why you so easily see the world through a distorting lens of good and evil, you can take steps to reduce your self-righteousness. You can thereby reduce the frequency of conflicts with others who are equally convinced of their righteousness." In his section "beyond the book" entitled How to Become Happier, he lists five balanced steps to becoming happier:
• Step 1: Diagnose Yourself.
• Step 2: Improve Your Mental Hygiene.
• Step 3: Improve Your Relatedness.
• Step 4: Improve Your Work.
• Step 5: Improve Your Connection to Something Beyond Yourself.
In the conclusion of How to Become Happier, he points out that "Happiness is not the shallow state of feeling pleased and chipper all the time. Happiness is the state of a human being that has achieved cross-level coherence within herself, and between herself and the people, challenges, and institutions around her. Happiness comes from between." And in Chapter 10, in the section "The Meaning of Life" (pp. 238-9) he says the following (my emphasis).
• "What can you do to live a good, happy, fulfilling, and meaningful life? What is the answer to the question of purpose within life? I believe the answer can be found only by understanding the kind of creature that we are, divided in the many ways we are divided. We were shaped by individual selection to be selfish creatures who struggle for resources, pleasure, and prestige, and we were shaped by group selection to be hive creatures who long to lose ourselves in something larger. We are social creatures who need love and attachments, and we are industrious creatures with needs for effectance (able to enter a state of vital engagement with our work). We are the rider [a brain, with reason] and we are the elephant [long-held habits and automatic reflexes], and our mental health depends on the two working together, each drawing on the others' strengths. I don't believe there is an inspiring answer to the question, "What is the purpose of life?" Yet by drawing on ancient wisdom and modern science, we can find compelling answers to the question of purpose within life. The final version of the happiness hypothesis is that happiness comes from between. Happiness is not something that you can find, acquire, or achieve directly. You have to get the conditions right and then wait. Some of those conditions are within you, such as coherence among the parts and levels of your personality. Other conditions require relationships to things beyond you: Just as plants need sun, water, and good soil to thrive, people need love, work, and a connection to something larger. It is worth striving to get the right relationships between yourself and others, between yourself and your work, and between yourself and something larger than yourself. If you get these relationships right, a sense of purpose and meaning will emerge."
From the Conclusion: on Balance (p. 242) he points out that "Happiness requires changing yourself and changing the world. It requires pursuing your own goals and fitting in with others. Different people at different times in their lives will benefit from drawing more heavily on one approach or the other."
 
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• Dr. Stephen R. Covey's old management classic The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (website; Wikipedia entry; summary from QuickMBA's management page) provides many insights into the kinds of personal growth and development which are helpful for life in general, and (perhaps surprisingly) in our quest for happiness too. The book is a world-wide best seller of something like 15 million copies, now translated into over three dozen languages. His 7 habits are: [1] Be Proactive, [2] Begin with the End in Mind, [3] Put First Things First, [4] Think Win/Win, [5] Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood, [6] Synergize, [7] Sharpen the Saw. In his more recent book, The 8th Habit: From Effectiveness to Greatness, Covey emphasizes that we should find our own voice, then inspire and help others to find theirs. Covey emphasizes not just the techniques and practices common to positive psychology, new age teachings and others, but also the fundamental importance of the underlying principles, mainly centered in character development (fairness, integrity, honesty, human dignity). It is upon the foundation of these permanent habits of right living that the effectiveness (and happiness) results depend over the long term, he argues, as does Steve Pavlina, below.
• Covey cites the importance of balance in the P/PC dichotomy (Product and Production Capacity) that is essential to long term success. He uses the fable of the goose which laid golden eggs as a good example of what happens when you focus on the product or the production (the golden eggs) at the expense of the up-keep on the production capacity (the goose, which the farmer killed in his greed to get more eggs quickly). The implications for our contemporary "this quarter's results at any cost" management focus are abundant. In terms of happiness, we might seek a quick high from drugs or alcohol, for example; but the longer term results will leave us wanting. Of course, over-emphasis on the production capacity (such as staying in school forever) while living on the products of others is also unhelpful. It is the balance that delivers the worthwhile long-term results.
• In his afterword, Covey distinguishes between principles and values in ways he has learned more about since the book was published. "I have learned [more about the] importance of understanding the difference between principles and values. Principles are natural laws that are external to us and that ultimately control the consequences of our actions. Values are internal and subjective and represent that which we feel strongest about in guiding our behavior. Hopefully we will come to value principles, so that we get the results we want now in a way that enables us to get even greater results in the future, which is how I define effectiveness. Everyone has values; even criminal gangs have values. Values govern peoples' behavior but principles govern the consequences of those behaviors. Principles are independent of us. They operate regardless of our awareness of them, acceptance of them, liking of them, belief in them, or obeying of them. I have come to believe that humility is the mother of all virtues. Humility says we are not in control, principles are in control, therefore we submit ourselves to principles. Pride says that we are in control, and since our values govern our behavior, we can simply do life our way. We may do so but the consequences of our behavior flow from principles not our values. Therefore we should value principles."
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• Steve Pavlina has just released (Sept 2008) Personal Development for Smart People: the Conscious Pursuit of Personal Growth (web Resources page). This book begins with seven principles, and adds practical application of these principles to your quest for personal growth. His three core or primary principles are [1] love, [2] truth, and [3] power; and his four secondary principles (combinations of the first three) are [4] oneness, [5] authority, [6] courage and [7] intelligence. What makes consideration of these principles important is that they are seen from a big-picture perspective in which they are universally true, do not change and can be applied over a broad spectrum of situations and circumstances to nearly every area of personal development. Because they are always rock-solid, the priorities, schedules and techniques which you derive from them remain anchored despite changing circumstances. Thus, the turbulence in your quest to improve does not affect the direction of your changes, it can only create a temporary diversion. As you adapt to the turbulence, you remain facing in (and confident of) the direction of the needed change. Steve (about) operates a very successful personal development blog at StevePavlina.com where you can read the content, and subscribe to the new entries. You will find this book and the blog especially helpful if, like me, you want to know what the over-arching principles are (and to be satisfied of their validity) before you jump into the application. Stephen Covey (above) makes many similar arguments concerning the imortance of fundamental strength of character, etc. Though Pavlina is not trained as a psychologist or writer (he's a computer scientist and mathematician), his material is very readable and helpful.
• Here are a few of his blog entries that caught my eye.
• How to discover your life purpose in about 20 minutes. Then scroll to the bottom of the article to see the Related Articles list; and the comments are enlightening too.
• The Meaning of Life: Discover Your Purpose, or the whole Meaning of Life Series.
• His Life After Death article deals in a logical/philosophical way with the prospects (either oblivion or else continuing consciousness and development), use of agency and choice, and ideas for how to live this life intelligently in the interim. It is very thought provoking. His related article, A Scientific Method for Exploring Consciousness provides some further interesting ideas on the topic of our own consciousness, and our intelligent use of it. His note on different belief systems resonates, in that he was able to "... separate out some degree of “truth” that seemed independent of my perspective. For example, no matter what belief system I held, it was important to me that it feel good." At the end, he observes wryly, "Hopefully this is enough to give you a sense of my pseudo-scientific method for exploring consciousness—or at least belief systems, which is a part of consciousness. It’s still a bit wild at this point, but then so am I." In any event, these articles may give us some new ideas in our own quest for greater happiness and purpose.
•  A set of more than a dozen Personal Development Articles.
• ... there are many more.
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Summary

• Finally, here is my own very informal list (distilled from the sources above and others) of potentially helpful ideas and practices. Some require preparation and work; but others require only a change in focus. Pick and choose the ones you think may work today. Try others later. Try some of them as experiments. "Which option you choose has a lot to do with how happy you already are, how happy you would like to become, how much you're willing to work at it" and what you feel like trying at the moment. So return to the lists again and again. In this list also, they are in no order. And some have [More] links to more detail/options, if needed/desired.

• Look for happiness in activities and in thoughts, attitudes and habits, rather than by itself. But there is value in understanding and being aware of happiness.

• Keep busy with lots of productive activities [More]. A healthy schedule helps divert your focus away from problems/worries/fears; and fun/new activities bring their own positive rewards.
• Feelings of satisfaction, fulfillment and creativity are major building blocks to an overall sense of happiness.

• Engage in meaningful activity. A meaningful or purposeful exercise regimen would double the benefit.

• Social interaction provides what is perhaps the most important activity leading to increased happiness and balance for many people [More].
• Mattering to somebody else gives value to self. Seek a wide variety of interaction from casual one-on-one to large organized/formal group interactions.
• Engaging with others helps you see your own situation in a more balanced context.

• Be part of (or work toward) a rewarding love-relationship -- it is the number 1 happiness asset for most everyone according to many researchers.

• Generosity and kindness are together a helpful mindset. Help others with no thought of any return. Go the second mile sometimes.
• Engage in meaningful, productive volunteerism (and get three benefits in one). Do it kindly, and get four benefits.
• Hold a brand new baby; tell the baby of your love; welcome it to the world; smile; enjoy the uninhibited social contact with the baby; feel the baby's acceptance.
• Be loving to yourself. Dr. Wayne Dyer says: "I choose the path of kindness. The more you extend kindness to yourself, the more it will become your automatic response to others."⁶

• Be generous and loving with yourself. Make yourself your own best friend and booster.
• As Shanel Yang says, "Dare to be awesome! Strive to be your own greatest hero!"

• Focus on the here and now - mindfulness, as the Buddhists teach it [More]. Pay attention to small wonders, pleasures and happy moments.
• One researcher says to step away momentarily and savor (or dwell on) a happy activity; then step back in, recognizing its value on a higher level. Dwell on that, too.

• Practice regular meditation, which can be a powerful source of happiness, contentment and well-being that is purely internal [More].

• Do things when they need to be done - avoid procrastination (it robs you of your happiness) - develop self-reliance [More].

• Regulate your appetites and passions (and even your perfectionism) [More].
• Use wisdom and moderation in all you do. "Just do something sensible," said the sage.

• Focus on getting enough sleep; not more, not less. Focus on getting enough nutritious foods; not more, not less

• Be thankful and grateful for, and content with what you have. Count your blessings--recognize and appreciate them. Do it regularly.
• Write down three good things that happened each day before retiring. Note how they came about. [More] Think about them as you go to sleep.
• Add thoughts of forgiveness, goodwill and loving kindness. They all magnify the effects.

• For those who are faith inspired, exercise faith, prayer and scripture study with humility and patience. Focus on aligning practices with beliefs [More].

• Seek out humor and fun. Read the comics. Laugh out loud.

• Think of the positive parts (cup half full, not half empty), and the good things that could happen.
• Optimism is a good predictor of happiness. It may be the most important attitude leading to increased happiness [More].

• Eliminate worry (it never solves the problem; just change the subject in your mind to something positive and/or enjoyable).
• Let go of unhelpful worries/fears/regrets/past hurts/recriminations/low self-image and other baggage. [More].
• Letting go frees up energy for positive steps toward greater happiness, and eliminates an important block to greater happiness.

• Work toward getting out of debt and staying out of debt. Financial hassles can drain potential for happiness, especially in some individuals.

• Find your passion; make a career of it. Work constitutes a big chunk of time; being happy in your work can contribute significantly to overall happiness [More].
• As Seligman puts it: "figure out your strengths, and find new ways to deploy them." This can be the number 1a lasting happiness choice for students.
• This applies not only to work/career, but to hobbies, retirement projects, lifetime pursuits that may need to be done part time, etc. It all leads to greater happiness.

• Work toward a higher education and higher income. Money doesn't buy happiness, but having enough to meet your needs reduces stress and disappointment.

• Act like a happier person. Initially it will seem shallow and faked; but you will be surprised to find yourself actually feeling happier with time (and acting less).

• Remember that by simply thinking about and valuing happiness (paying increased attention to it) you obtain a free by-product: increased happiness [More].

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• Finally: Avoid what leads to unhappiness [More] -- be patient; focus on building your own strengths of character and purity of heart--your worst enemy can't stop or even interfere with either one. And don't keep your innate happiness from helping you to feel better. See also the notes on the "Let go of ... baggage" item [More].

• Ignore gender, intelligence, wealth and age -- much of research says they are all largely irrelevant in the quest for greater happiness, satisfaction and contentment.

• Engage a balance of seeking happiness from your surroundings and in seeking happiness from within. Haidt has the best information on this balance, and the necessity of both components.

• Remember that this quest for happiness is for the long haul. There will be good days and bad days. It will take time and effort. Remember Beverly Sills, the American opera singer: "There are no shortcuts to any place worth going."
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"Most people are searching for happiness outside of themselves.
That’s a fundamental mistake [if undertaken by itself].
Happiness is something that you are, and it comes from the way that you think."³
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Notes and more detail/options for some of the items above.


 

. . Notes on "Keep busy with lots of productive activities ..."  These activities can be any of the get-up-and-get-going activities of socializing, sports, hiking, volunteering, etc. The individual activities do not matter: that is, there is no evidence that tennis is better at making people happy than is ice skating, for example. What is important is the "something in which to be engaged." It helps us to focus on something beyond our troubles. Of course, when done with others, it brings an important social component; and the exercise component can only help with general health and fitness. Take a walk every day; take your dog. When you can add meaningfulness and purpose, you amplify the effect. Remember Lincoln's note on getting out and being busy with good works:  “Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle.” . . Notes on "Social interaction provides what is perhaps the most important activity leading to increased happiness ..."  Social interaction, as an activity, shares the "perhaps most important" designation with Optimism as an attitude or mindset. These two happiness assets are often seen to contribute more to increased happiness than do other attitudes and/or activities. Thus, they are listed together at the top of many lists of ways to increase happiness. Having a rewarding love-relationship can be an important part of social interaction, of course. It is the number 1 happiness asset for most everyone according to many researchers. As such, it may be well worth the effort to find, or (if you already have it) to enhance and preserve. Where social interaction is available, and especially when people find it comfortable and rewarding, then when one knows how important it can be, this can be a very enjoyable way to create a happy mood at the moment, and to increase one's general level of happiness over the longer term. Dr. Michael Fordyce (above) in his 13th Fundamental "Close Relationships are #1" makes the following observations: Appreciate and maintain your close friends, your family members, and your most intimates -- for these are your main source of happiness! If you are fortunate to have such ties, do whatever you can do to develop, to maintain, to repair, or to sustain your relationship with them. More than money, more than success, more than fame or popularity -- time invested in enhancing your closest ties will reap, by far, the greatest happiness rewards life affords, according to the bulk of happiness research. Love is, indeed, the most potent happiness factor of all! The research is abundantly clear: a person who has loving, close social and familial ties in their life, has the greatest happiness gift life can provide! Of all the factors researchers have studied, this one factor appears to be confirmed as a universal certainty!  Social interaction is also a great activity in which to practice the Eighth Fundamental of Dr. Fordyce, "Present-Orientation." By itself, the latter is an aid to achieving greater happiness; and practicing it during social interactivity can magnify the effect of both. One of the difficulties of some unhappy people, of course, is that social interaction is neither comfortable nor rewarding. They often feel that they make more enemies than friends with their efforts to interact socially. They often withdraw and isolate themselves socially as a result. In these cases, one can just focus more on other methods, particularly optimism and positive thinking (see note below) which are also a very important happiness assets (and can be pursued even if one is completely alone). Happily (sorry, pun intended), once some higher level of general happiness is gained, many of these people will find that their social skills will also improve, leaving them free to pursue increased social interaction, perhaps starting with some of the more cautious approaches. Some people will scoff, or course, and claim it is not really socializing; but if you are very shy, you can do some on-line socializing, at least to get started. Check out some of the social networking websites, adopt a persona, or simply be yourself, and see what happens. Be cautious about what you post on the Internet, of course (in any case, you should post only information that you would be comfortable if anybody saw it--see our notes on the lengthy lifetimes and potential wide distribution--and especially privacy issues--concerning Internet posts of all sorts).  Social interaction and close relationships are strong happiness assets; and a rewarding love relationship (when it is good) is the strongest happiness asset. However, as Dr. Michael Fordyce (above) also points out in his 13th Fundamental "Close Relationships are #1," one's personal mental health (the balance and self-sufficiency they bring to a relationship in the first instance--see his 9th Fundamental "Work On a Healthy Personality") is the principal predictor of relationship success, overall. The point here is that working on one's own self-sufficiency and balanced mental health first, and then seeking a rewarding love relationship may be a better approach than beginning with a quest for a rewarding love relationship. . . Notes on "Focus on the here and now ..." This may seem trivial in its importance initially; but it is central to finding enduring happiness from within, and for letting go of unhelpful worries/fears/regrets/past hurts/recriminations/low self-image and other baggage. Worries about the future and guilt about the past only serve to hijack your attention away from the present (the only time and place where you can do anything, including feeling happy). . Eckhart Tolle says (in The Power of NOW: a guide to spiritual enlightenment [chapter 3, Moving Deeply Into the Now, page 55; Book Review]: "Be present as the watcher of your mind--of your thoughts and emotions as well as your reactions in various situations. Be at least as interested in your reactions as in the situation or person that causes you to react. Notice also how often your attention is in the past or future. Do not judge or analyze what you observe. Watch the thought, feel the emotion, observe the reaction. Do not make a personal problem out of them. You will then feel something more powerful than any of those things that you observe: [enjoying] the still, observing presence itself behind the content of your mind, the silent watcher." . The above reviewer points out that "This is one of the many ways in which Eckhart Tolle’s teaching is so radically different from other spiritual traditions. He seems to imply that enlightenment is already the case, and that we only need to stop and be silent for this dimension to be revealed to us. Furthermore, Eckhart Tolle maintains that enlightenment is the only truly natural way to live one’s life; it is only through a radical transformation of human consciousness that humanity can hope to live in peace and harmony." The core of this transformation is to focus much more on the here and now, using the past and future only as reference points, when needed; but dwell in the present. . Eckhart Tolle has also written A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose [Author's comments], which I found quite a bit more readable than The Power of NOW. In A New Earth, Tolle speaks eloquently (and to me, much more clearly) concerning the role of the ego in strengthening the false self, and how to dissolve its effects simply by being the watcher of your mind (see immediately above). Taking these steps is essential to obtaining that inner happiness which we are all seeking, and is within each of us, waiting to be allowed to manifest itself. . On happiness, Tolle says (A New Earth, chapter 4 - Role-playing: the Many Faces of the Ego, p. 96),  . Don't seek happiness. If you seek it, you won't find it, because seeking is the antithesis of happiness. Happiness is ever elusive, but freedom from unhappiness is attainable now, by facing what "is" rather than making up stories about it.  . Unhappiness covers up your natural state of well-being and inner peace, the source of true happiness. . In his comments on writing A New Earth {scroll down past the photo of the book, etc., to "The One Thing" heading}, Tolle notes that "the terminology used needs to be as neutral as possible so that it transcends the confines of any one culture, religion, or spiritual tradition." In my view, he substantially accomplishes that goal. Well done; and very helpful. . . . Many happiness seekers also find meditation helpful for focusing on the here and now. . Thoughts lead to feelings. Control thoughts by changing to better thoughts; better feelings will result. Rhonda Byrne, in The Secret (review), says: "Make a list of some Secret Shifters to have up your sleeve. By Secret Shifters, I mean things that can change your feelings in a snap. It might be beautiful memories, future events, funny moments, nature, a person you love, your favorite music. Then if you find yourself angry or frustrated or not feeling good, turn to your Secret Shifters list and focus on one of them. Different things will shift you at different times, so if one doesn't work, go to another. It only takes a minute or two of changing focus ... ." When you feel better, re-focus on the here and now. She quotes Bob Proctor on the subject: "When you're feeling down, did you know that you can change it in an instant? Put on a beautiful piece of music, or start singing--that'll change your emotion. Or think of something beautiful. Think of a baby or somebody that you truly love, and dwell on it. Really keep that thought in your mind. Block everything out but that thought. I guarantee you'll start to feel good." An article "Cultivating Positive Emotions to Optimize Health and Well-Being" may be helpful, if you are an avid reader. . Try some of the "8 Ways to Return to the Present Moment" from the Positivity Blog (see Related item below): 1. Focus on what’s right in front of you. 2. Focus on your breathing. 3. Focus on your inner body. 4. Pick up the vibe from present people. 5. Surrender to the emotion that is already there. 6. See things as for the first time. 7. Punch your leg. 8. Have a drink or two. . For a concrete and testable example that "what you think is what you get," see the Cesar Millan "Dog Whisperer" example in Related Resources below. Keep in mind the sage advice of Adam Smith: "Through the whole of his life he pursues the idea of a certain artificial and elegant repose which he may never arrive at, for which he sacrifices a real tranquillity that is at all times in his power, and which, if in the extremity of old age he should at last attain to it, he will find to be in no respect preferable to that humble security and contentment which he had abandoned for it." See also How To Stop Replaying Old Arguments in your mind. Its on the Positivity Blog, in the Related Resources, below. . . Notes on "Practice regular meditation, ..." ... There are many forms of meditation. In its simplest form, we find a quiet place, sit comfortably and close our eyes. We focus on reciting some mantra such as "the bubbling brook runs onward," or simply pay attention to our breathing. Anything peaceful will do. The focus item itself is unimportant; the idea here is to have something to focus on, and to come back to as other thoughts melt away. When these other thoughts come, we neither resist them nor encourage them. We just take note of them, and let them fade. Momentary focus on our mantra or our breathing help in stilling our minds. The idea is for your conscious mind to be focusing on itself (or its own agenda) or on some inner sources. As the activities of the world around us fade, and this consciousness of self ascends, inner peace, joy and happiness come to the fore. Everyone experiences something different. But virtually all report greater peace and serenity, lowered stress levels, etc., both during their meditation sessions and afterward. Find a method that suits you; and make it a regular part of your daily routine. Marci Shimoff (above) say